Why do I always "fall" for people?

Honestly, they shouldn't call it "falling" for someone. It's more like a nose-dive if you ask me. When you fall for someone, it's an accident. Pursuing that feeling is a bold move, just like a nose-dive. You have no idea what the outcome will be, but you're taking a risk and hoping for the best in the end. Right now, I feel like my nose-dive is about to end in a bloody mess, unless someone finds a way to catch me. I hate my life. At least I have my new T-Mobile G1!

Why do I suck at this game called love?

Hahaha! I know that's probably the corniest title ever but it's how I feel right now. Maybe it's just me, but honestly, I feel like I can never have what I want. Everything was great in the beginning and now things are completely the opposite of that. We used to talk all the time...go out, have dinner, etc. Now it's like I'm just a second thought. I'm too good for that. I hate feeling this way. I never did anything to deserve this. I don't even ask for much from them and still I get nothing. The sad part is that I really wanted this to work. I mean, I can probably deal with it for a while longer, but if nothing changes, I'd be an idiot to stay in the relationship. I do plan on talking to them within the next few days to see where this is going, but I think the outlook is leaning more towards a friendship. I really hate it. I know there are plenty more options out there for me but I saw something in this one and I thought it would be different. Things just seem too similar to my previous relationship and that's the one thing I don't need. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I want to do it yet. Things are always easier said than done...

Aww shit!

That just happens to be the title of my new favorite song: Aww Shit! by Kelis. I don't know how I never heard it before. Makes me feel good for some reason. Don't ask.

Oh sorry about that last post. I was just really frustrated for a reason some of you may already know. I think I'm doing better now. Partially because I feel like I'm fooling myself into thinking everything is okay...but it helps a lot. I know it might not be the right thing to do but at least I can cope now.

Yesterday I went to Atlantic City with Gary and his sister JayJ. Had a pretty good time...mainly due to alcohol use haha! I won a little on the slots and we ended up at Bobby Flay's restaurant. We really should've checked the menu before we were seated because the cheapest steak was like $32. The one I got was almost $40. I was about to tell the waiter (who, according to Gary, was hitting on me) that if Bobby Flay doesn't bring out my steak, I'm not paying. I have to say that it was worth it though. It was one of the best steaks I've ever had. But enough about steak.

Had some good conversations back at the room. Did I mention how much I love hotels? I guess it's knowing that I don't have to clean up the room later hah. And the beds are always so comfortable. I love it. I'm going to finish this entry later. Gotta run!